April 19, 2004

Dear friends,

It is customary in Jewish tradition that the seven wedding benedictions, which are recited for the first time under the huppa, be repeated at each major meal for one full week. And so we did. Benjamin and Alexia invited Nili and Philippe out to lunch and recited the first Sheva Berakhot over lunch.

Tuesday evening, the first major meal after the Monday night wedding supper, was hosted by Ursula and myself at The Taverna, a restaurant overlooking the walls of Jerusalem. Both families as well as friends from out of town attended. It began with quite a surprise. On the days before the wedding, Benjamin had been trying desperately to rent a camel so that the bride and groom could greet their guests in grand Middle Eastern style. Thank goodness he was not successful. However, for the first of the Sheva Berakhot, Benjamin, who is not easily put off, did find camel man with his animal. So, when we arrived, there were Philippe and Nili, suitably clad, riding on a camel to greet each of their guests (see fotos). Once again, the wedding had taken on "A Thousand and One Nights" proportions. The meal was good and nicely served but it was the speeches that made the evening. I prepared a dvar Torah (a word of Torah) dealing with the Song of Songs and the young couple. Dick Scheuer, in whose house Ursula and I met and who, at over 80, had attended all the wedding events, spoke very movingly of the example that Ursula has set in hospitality. Jonathan rose to speak and was so moved he could hardly talk and it was very touching to see how his brothers tried to help him through his words. Claude Roche, a non-Jewish friend from France, spoke about what it meant to her to move to Israel, leaving behind her non-Jewish family, and about how moving it was for her to be present at the wedding of her "Jerusalem son." Nili's sister spoke very nicely of Nili and the couple. Deborah and Benny also spoke, as did others. We said Grace after Meals and did the Sheva Berakhot with different friends and family participating (see fotos).

Wednesday evening, Nili's brother Amir and his wife Yael, hosted the second Sheva Berakhot at their apartment in Petach Tikva. This time the food was Yemenite, and very good. It was an opportunity for us to see old family pictures going back several generations and to get to know Yael's parents. Several of us spoke and, again, we said Grace after Meals and the Sheva Berakhot (see fotos). Ursula had to leave for the airport to return to New York to prepare her mother's house for Passover seder right after the blessings but I stayed on in Israel to accompany the bride and groom to the rest of the Sheva Berakhot. Benjamin and Alexia had returned to Paris earlier in the day.

Thursday morning I went to the Wall and distributed charity in larger sums than I usually do. The joy expressed, however, reflected the sense of participation of these people in our joy, not just the charity received. The rest of the day was spent making travel arrangements, opening presents, and just relaxing in Jerusalem. Thursday night, we met friends of Philippe in a Jerusalem restaurant. They had run a rather liberal yet haredi (ultra-orthodox) school and it was interesting to hear the problems they had encountered. Again, we recited the prayers and the Sheva Berakhot.

Friday morning, we went to dawn services at the Wall and, by 9:00 a.m., dinner was bought and cooking because Nili and Philippe decided to host the Friday night meal at their apartment in Jerusalem. For the meal, most of Nili's family and a few friends joined us. The novelty of the evening came when, during Sheva Berakhot, I asked if one of the women would like to recite one. After all, they all read Hebrew though they come from a culture in which women do not take an active part in liturgy. (For those of you who do not know, my father was among the pioneers in allowing women liturgical space in the synagogue.) When I asked, there was silence and then Esther, Nili's mother, started to respond. I stopped her to make sure she had the wedding cup in her hand and then she recited the blessing. This was surely a first in Israeli Yemenite circles, and it was very touching.

Shabbat morning, Phlippe and I went to the Wall for early services and, there being no cohen (male of priestly descent) present, Rabbi Darzy gave Philippe the honor of being called to the Torah first. When he called him up, Rabbi Darzy chanted a special song in honor of the bridegroom and we were both very moved. At the end of those services, we joined our usual sefardi group for a second set of services and went with them to their place above the police station at the Wall for kiddush (reception). We had brought along extra food and liquor. They know Philippe well and, by that time, Nili had joined us and everyone was glad to meet her and to greet them as a couple. One would think that two morning services would be enough but Justice Menachem Elon and his wife had invited us to join them and their son, Rabbi Moti Elon who heads the Yeshivat ha-Kotel, a large institution of learning at the Wall, to share the Sheva Berakhot of their grandson who had also married that week. So up we went to our third morning service of the day. At the end, there was a large lunch with singing and a few speeches and, of course, Grace after Meals and the Sheva Berakhot. They took one set of cups to the Elon grandchildren and gave one to Philippe and Nili. At the very end, we went up to the roof of Yeshivat ha-Kotel from which one can see the entire Jerusalem skyline and were given a tour by Motti with all its political implications.

The day, however, was not finished because Rabbi and Mrs. Darzy had invited us to join them for the late afternoon Shabbat meal (se'uda shlishit). So, from the Yeshiva, we walked directly to the Darzy's. There a veritable feast awaited us. Rabbi Darzy was in exceptional form -- joking and singing special songs. Mrs. Darzy even commented that she had not seen him so jolly in a long time. It was as if his own grandson had married. He recited the Sheva Berakhhot and the love between him and Philippe was palpable. We left him before the end of the Shabbat to return to pack our bags. A little late, as usual, we left Jerusalem for Nili's parents where yet another meal and Sheva Berakhot awaited us. Again, Esther participated to the pride of everyone. And then we raced for the airport to catch a plane to New York. Philippe's agent had arranged to upgrade their tickets and mine (which was not upgradable). So we had a very comfortable flight. Nili came through American customs with us; no problem.

We arrived in New York but still within the period of the first week and, hence, of the Sheva Berakhot. So, Sunday before lunch, Philippe and Nili went to pick up my mother and we assembled with a friend of Philippe's at a local kosher restaurant. My mother had not yet met Nili and she was very pleased to do so. We ate, said Grace after Meals, and once again Sheva Berakhot. This time my mother participated, much to her delight. My father would have been proud. I said a dvar Torah again and this time my mother also spoke. She talked very movingly of her life with my father and her wishes for the young couple. Since she is almost blind (a detached retina in one eye and severe macular degeneration in the other), she had been shaping and rehearsing this speech in her mind for weeks. It was very moving (see fotos).

Not to leave out any opportunity for a last Sheva Berakhot, we arranged for a brief breakfast at the local synagogue on Monday morning after the last pre-Passover prayers. They had bagels, etc. and, after a final dvar Torah, we recited the prayers and the final set of Sheva Berakhot (see fotos). What a week!

As the wedding week drew to a close, Passover came in. Philippe conducted the first night seder with his wife by his side for the first time. I did the second night, partly because Philippe, now married to an Israeli woman and planning to settle in Israel, is no longer obligated to observe two days of the holiday. The first day of the holiday, the family sponsored a reception for the young couple at the local synagogue. Philippe, whenever he is in New York, goes there to pray so this was yet another community that was glad to welcome him and his bride. On the second day of Passover, which for Philippe and Nili was not holiday, they discretely went to see my mother, bringing Nili's wedding dress with them. They dressed up and paraded through the retirement home in which my mother lives, much to her joy and to that of all the residents. They also danced with her in the halls, received presents, and shared the past and the future (see fotos). Philippe and Nili spent the next two days in New York City just having a good time (see fotos). On the Shabbat of Passover, I read the Song of Songs in the synagogue from a megilla (scroll) which Philippe had given me several years ago. It is such a beautiful text and it is an honor to be able to read it. The seventh day of Passover I was privileged to read the song of the crossing of the Reed Sea and Philippe led the services, much to the joy of Nili. Much time was also spent with Omi (Ursula's mother) and friends (see fotos).

Sunday, at the end of the second week of celebration, my mother in law hosted a chamber music concert at her home in honor of the young couple. Ursula's mother has been organizing chamber music in private homes for more than fifty years and her specialty is finding young, up and coming artists and letting them make music. Pianist Ilya Itin, cellist Borislav Strulev, and violinist Misha Simonyan played just beautifully pieces by Rachmaninov, Tchaikovsky, and Beethoven (see fotos). Our friends, The Jerusalem Trio, who happened to be in New York also came to contribute to the celebration. About fifty friends gathered in this very elegant setting to hear the artists. Philippe and Nili sat with Omi and it was touching to see the generations together (see fotos). Afterwards, there was a kosher-for-Passover reception. I remarked to Ursula that it was a testimony to the many worlds in which Philippe, and now Nili, lives that he had experienced everything from a Yemenite henna to a chamber music concert in the home of his grandmother.

On Wednesday, we left New York and headed to Atlanta with Nili and Philippe right behind us. At this time of year, the azaleas are in full bloom and Atlanta is dressed in its finest. Nili was much impressed. Thursday evening, Ginger Goldhammer who is 97 1/2 took us out for dinner in her favorite Chinese restaurant (see fotos). It is amazing that she is so alive and alert at her age. As always, Nili was so gracious. She also made a small scarf for Nili which she has worn every day since then. Friday evening, we were so tired that the four of us ate together, and were glad to be alone. Shabbat morning we went to the synagogue in which we have prayed for years here. Philippe was called to the Torah and I was given the honor of the haftarah (reading from the prophets). Ursula and I sponsored kiddush in honor of the young couple. Everyone was so glad to be there and here was yet another community that rejoiced to receive Nili and Philippe. Saturday afternoon Ursula organized open house for our Atlanta friends and for Philippe's childhood friends (we apologize to those we forgot in the last moment). So, 75 people came, including friends of Philippe who had driven up from Florida (see fotos). When night came, we stood in the kitchen and I estimated that we had met, shaken hands with, or kissed about 1000 people in the three weeks of celebration!

Today, Sunday, the young couple has escpaed to Savannah, Georgia, for a few days of honeymoon alone. They really deserve it, as do their families.

Shalom, David