RONNY'S STORY (2)

Monday, December 1, 2003

Thank you to our many friends and acquaintances who responded to the story of Ronny, the soldier. I feel I really need to bring you up to date. First, a foto.

The news is not good. At the end of my last letter, Ronny was to go to Philadelphia to undergo treatment for his RSD, the nerve condition that results from trauma and provokes his considerable pain. Dr. Schwartzman (not, incidentally, Dr. Saltzman, as I had indicated) had agreed to treat him and the indefatigable Sari was able to negotiate the hospital down from $150,000 to $20,000. The treatment, however, did not go well. Rather than accept the 40 mg. per day for five days, Ronny was only able to tolerate 30 mg. for two days and, with that, he had severe pain and was disoriented. Dr. Schwartzman decided to take him off the treatment though he still feels that Ronny should go to Germany for the second stage: higher and longer doses administered while he is in an artificially induced coma. Ronny and his family are, naturally, uneasy about such a coma. In the midst of this treatment, Ronny had a dream that his wife's grandmother, who had been sick, had died. The family tried to conceal it from him but it was not possible and this, too, upset him.

Meanwhile, Dr. Rozmaryn of Johns Hopkins continued to feel strongly that, if Ronny were to stay and undergo two months of very intensive physiotherapy involving hyperbaric chambers, aquatic therapy, pain management, and a regime of 7-8 hours per day of work, they could put him back on his feet -- provided that his bones would, in fact, be able to bear his body weight. So, Temple Shaaray Tefila took Ronny and his brother back to New York and arranged further appointments with the best orthopedic persons in New York. Another set of endless hours, exams, and discussions. That news, too, was not good. Dr. Rozbruck and Dr. Styles, major authorities on orthopedic trauma injuries, said that they almost always counsel against amputation but that, in Ronny's case, they would have to suggest it. The bones in his right leg, the one in which the foot was severed, never did grow back together and couldn't support his weight. The bones in his "good" left leg were just simply too thin, even with corrective surgery and intensive physiotherapy, to bear his weight. Ronny will not recover the use of his legs, even though one could continue surgery and physiotherapy. This was not good news. The only light is all this was that the doctors said that the Israelis, in particular those at Hadassah whom Ronny already had seen, were the best in the field for amputations. They had seen papers published by the Hadassah team and they did exceptional work. How sad that we have to be experts in such a terrible field.

So, the boys decided to go home, take some time with the family, and then Ronny will probably proceed with the double amputation. The left leg will be severed below the knee and the right leg as close to below the knee as possible. He will get two prostheses, rehabilitation, and then try to reconstruct his life. Ronny and Avi left last night and arrived this morning (our time).

Meanwhile, the "conspiracy of goodness" has not ceased to amaze me. We flew to New York to spend Thanksgiving with Ursula's mother and, of course, stopped by to meet these extraordinary people. Rabbi David Greenberg of Shaaray Tefila is a Reform rabbi, a graduate of HUC-JIR, who took the pulpit 28 years ago when Bedford was a sleepy community far from everything. The congregation grew to 1000 families as suburbia expanded and is now a flourishing community housed in an old builidng which once belonged to the Baldwin (railroad) family. One day, someone brought him a picture of a young girl whose legs were lost in a terrorist attack and for whom they were collecting money to buy a handicap-equipped car. "She looked like my daughter," he said and promptly set about helping. It was not easy but he succeeded. Rabbi Greenberg then asked Sari who, being an Israeli speaks Hebrew, to go to Israel and scout out and interview other victims of terror whom the temple might support. She did so and, during a rabbinic meeting in Israel, Rabbi Greenberg got tired of the talking and, with Sari, went to visit those victims of terror. He then returned and set up a group of people who joined in the search for victims and then in generating personal as well as financial support. "I reinvented myself and the temple by doing this," he said. I can believe it. How many synagogues have settled into a comfortable routine of prayer, education, community action, and fundraising -- and have missed the personal act of national solidarity and of caring! There are now 25 on the committee and the temple supports 55 families with gifts of $5000 per year, plus something special for Rosh HaShana, Hanuka, and Passover. The committee has also gone on to develop a park in a Tel Aviv slum and will start on an Israeli hunger project soon.

Unfortunately, not many synagogues have joined this "conspiracy of goodness." If you are an active member or a leader, just get a name from Rabbi Greenberg rabbi.david.greenberg@shaaraytefila.org. Take on someone. You won't regret it. Don't think. Don't committee. Just do. "You can't help everyone, but you can help some, as it says, 'It is not incumbent upon you to finish the work but you are not absolved from ignoring it either.'"

Sari's story is different. She is an Israeli who married an American. Her mother did these kind of things -- one always needs a model: so be one yourself. She is tireless in her efforts. The boys have left America and she is working to host another of Shaaray Tefila's victims of terror who is here with his parents to see doctors.

Ronny and Avi's hosts in Bedford are a young couple, the Biedermans. They put up a ramp so Ronny could get in and out. They removed doors and put up curtains on the washrooms so Ronny could get in an out. When the possibility of the boys' staying someplace else came up, the Biedermans wouldn't let them go. There were many tears when they left last night.

Ronny attended his first interfaith (Thanksgiving service) replete with mixed seating and mixed choir. The rabbi took out a Torah and read from it in Hebrew and a woman (the assistant minister) read the passage in English. "I could never even have imagined such a thing."

When they came back from Shabbat in Monsey, NY, the Biedermans asked what they would like to do on their last night in America before returning home. Ronny opined that he had never been to a casino. So, the Biedermans drove them two hours to Connecticut and the boys ended up about $900!

The Weinbergers spent this week in Israel, talking to Ronny's family.

Ronny made the effort to come to visit my mother-in-law, about 30 minutes from Sari.

The boys shopped as if America were a candy store. I'm not sure how they are going to get all those presents into his small apartment. Avi really, really wanted a digital movie camera; someone just bought it for him. Ronny carries with him the digital still camera that someone else bought for him because, on it, are pictures of his family which he proudly shows.

Our own plans are to arrive in Israel during Hanuka and to stay for about ten days. We will see our children and friends but we will also see Ronny and his family. We spoke to his parents and wife when he was at my mother-in-law's house and they invited us for the hilula (a celebration of the anniversary of a death) of a distinguished Moroccan rabbi which will take place on the last day of Hanuka. We will, of course, go.

Some of you have asked what you can do. First, get involved. Adopt a victim of terror. Do it through your own synagogue. (The organizations that handle these cases are not you.) We still have the case of Amichai, the soldier who was wounded in the testicles. If you wish to contribute money, you can send a check to Shaaray Tefila, 89 Baldwin Rd., Bedford Corners, NY, 10549 and you can earmark it for the Israel Emergency Fund or for Ronny Gozlan. Remember that 100% of what you give is given.

I will keep you posted on what is happening. Best from all of those in this magic circle.