Psalm 27

Hanna Belden

TEXT

 1 The Lord is my light and my salvation  whom shall I fear?

   The Lord is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid?

 

 2 When the wicked advance against me to devour me,

   it is my enemies and my foes who will stumble and fall.

3 Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear;

   though war break out against me, even then I will be confident.

 

4 One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord

   all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.

5 For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling;

   he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent and set me high upon a rock.

 6 Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me;

   at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the Lord.

 

            7 Hear my voice when I call, Lord; be merciful to me and answer me.

            8 My heart says of you, ŌSeek his face!Ķ Your face, Lord, I will seek.

            9 Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger;

               you have been my helper.  Do not reject me or forsake me, God my Savior.

 

10 Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.

 

            11 Teach me your way, Lord; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors.

            12 Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me,

               spouting malicious accusations.

 

13 Had I not believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living....

 

                        14 Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

 

 

INNER VOICE COMMENTARY

 

 1 The Lord is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear?

The Lord is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid?

            ItÕs going to be okay. God is going to get me through this.  My rape will not end me, I have the Lord on my side.  I will not shrivel in fear, God will provide me with the strength to get through this.  I have nothing to be afraid of anymore.

 

 2 When the wicked advance against me to devour me, it is my enemies and my foes

   who will stumble and fall.

3 Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me,

   even then I will be confident.

            IÕm not going to be afraid anymore; not of my rapist, not of the rape itself, and certainly not of the risk of a mental breakdown.  Yes, IÕve been raped.  No, IÕm not going to let it phase me.  IÕm going to get right back on my feet and move on with my life.  I have no choice - I have to get through this.

 

 4 One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the

   Lord all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his

   temple.

5 That in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the

   shelter of his sacred tent and set me high upon a rock.

 6 Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me; at his sacred tent I

   will sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the Lord.

            IÕm going to be fine, Doctor.  I just want to be taken under GodÕs wing.  I need His help and support right now, and I need Him to understand that what happened isnÕt my fault.  This sin is not mine.  I ask that He still accept me into heaven, I need Him to still accept me despite what happened.  His care is what will see me through this, what will let me rise above what has happened to me. 

 

             7 Hear my voice when I call, Lord; be merciful to me and answer me.

            8 My heart says of you, ŌSeek his face!Ķ Your face, Lord, I will seek.

            9 Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger;

               you have been my helper. Do not reject me or forsake me, God my Savior.

            Oh please, God, do not forsake me now.  I need You more than ever.  IÕm trying to be brave and work through this, but I canÕt do it alone.  I need You.  I beg You, donÕt leave me.  IÕm searching for You, trying to feel Your love, but all I feel is emptiness.  Please do not be angry with me!  Did I do something to offend You? Did I deserve what happened to me!?  Look upon me, forgive me. YouÕve always been there for me in the past, but this time itÕs different.  Now, when I need You more than ever, You turn away.  Oh please, do not abandon me in this, my moment of crisis!

 

10 Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.

            You hear that, God? I trust You.  YouÕre what got me through the death of my parents, the death of my grandparents, all the hardships life has thrown at me.  Without You, IÕm lost.  Love me.  Protect me.

 

            11 Teach me your way, Lord; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors.

            12 Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me, spouting malicious accusations.

            God, if YouÕre there, if YouÕre listening (please be listening...) I need Your help.  I need You to guide me through this.  I didnÕt deserve what happened to me.  You know that.  I need You to know that, because I need You to be on my side for this one, God.  DonÕt listen to him.  Use all the powers of omniscience You have: heÕs lying.  My rapist is lying through his teeth, with his fingers crossed.  Please donÕt leave me.

 

 13 Had I not believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living....

            I need You, God.  I cannot bear to even think of what would happen if You were to abandon me now, let alone voice it.  If you leave, God, I will never be the same.  You will have broken me; Life will have broken me, and all that is evil in this world will have yet another victory to celebrate.

 

                        14 (therapist speaks): Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

            Maybe the doctor is right. Maybe I just need to wait a little longer for Him.  IÕve been given a lot to deal with, but maybe IÕm strong enough to handle it on my own, at least for a little while.  Please, God, come soon.