Psalm 27

 

Daniel Kim

 

Text

 

1 The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life—whom shall I be afraid?

2 When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh, when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall.

3 Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident.

 

4 One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.

5 For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock.

6 Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me; at his tabernacles will I sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the Lord.

 

7 Hear my voice when I call, O Lord, be merciful to me and answer me.

8 My heart says of you, ÒSeek his face!Ó Your face, Lord, I will seek.

9 Do not hide your face from me do not turn your servant away in anger; you have been my helper. Do not reject me or forsake me, O God my Savior.

 

10 Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.

 

11 Teach me your way, O Lord; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors.

12 Do not turn me over to the will of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me, breathing out violence.

 

13 Had I not believed that I would enjoy to see the goodness of God in the land of the livingÉ

 

14 Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

 

 

Inner Voice Commentary

 

1 The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life—whom shall I be afraid?

David, be strong. God has been showing me that I have nothing to fear. Though this cancer is wasting me away, He has been assuring me that He is watching over our family. This assurance keeps me going every day. He keeps me strong.

 

2 When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh, when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall.

 

This cancer is eating me up. The doctors say that it may be too late to for any treatment. There are nights when I wake up breathing heavy and screaming out my insides. IÕm more afraid of the possibility of death than I thought. There are nights when the idea of what itÕs doing to you and your sister consumes me. There are weeks where IÕm unable to sleep or eat. It pains me more than the cancer itself and treatment that I canÕt be there for you anymore. I miss when I used to be able to pack you and Esther lunch, when I could watch you blaze through your swim meets, and getting your favorite pepperoni pizza like we always did right after. I wasnÕt sure what God was doing to our family—first, your father in the accident last year. Now, me.

 

3 Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident.

 

But now, when I see you come here right after school, every single day, finishing your homework and falling asleep by my side, I am comforted. God shows me that I have nothing to worry about. He shows me that I have raised my son well—responsible, caring, and strong. You pick up your little sister from elementary school everyday. You tutor her with her homework and make sure she does an hour of piano practice everyday. You buy groceries and cook dinner for her. At the end of every month, you bring back your swimming medals that youÕve practiced so hard for. IÕve never been so proud of you, David. GodÕs been showing me the incredible ways youÕve matured over the past couple of months gives me a peace and hope in my children. Your father wouldÕve been proud of you. I know that heÕs proud of you.

 

4 One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.

 

Mom, itÕs been hard. I know that I have no right to complain, but IÕm tired. I donÕt think IÕm ever going to get used to this. Esther is a handful. Sometimes she just starts crying in the middle of tutoring and piano practice and I donÕt know what to do. I donÕt know what to say. IÕve been spending so much time alone these days; when IÕm not with you or Esther, IÕm by myself. My friends donÕt know how to be friends with me anymore. I know that you say that God is watching over us, but IÕm trying so hard to keep up this life. All I want is rest. I need to know that He cares, because IÕm not sure if He does anymore. IÕm not sure how much longer I can go.

 

5 For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock.

6 Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me; at his tabernacles will I sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the Lord.

 

For now, I can only hope that He will do something—anything. How can you say that God is good, and yet youÕre still here, dying of cancer? DoesnÕt God see how much youÕre suffering and what itÕs doing to Esther and me? You keep telling me that God works for the good of those who love Him, but what good will He bring out of this? IÕve been trying to do my best here, but IÕm not sure if I can sing praises at church with the same heart anymore. IÕm not sure if I can be happy while without you, Mom.

 

7 Hear my voice when I call, O Lord, be merciful to me and answer me.

8 My heart says of you, ÒSeek his face!Ó Your face, Lord, I will seek.

9 Do not hide your face from me do not turn your servant away in anger; you have been my helper. Do not reject me or forsake me, O God my Savior.

 

God, do You hear me? Answer me if YouÕre such a great God! My mom has so much faith in You, and she always somehow finds a sense of peace in You. I know she prays for me, and sheÕs always been the one to challenge me to seek more of You. God, donÕt ignore me now. These prayers, prayers that IÕve prayed everyday since MomÕs been diagnosed, seem utterly fruitless. Things have only gotten worse for Mom and harder for me. Please help me see your hand in all of this. Please help me know that youÕre really there watching over us.

 

10 Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.

 

David, I probably will never be able to understand what youÕre going through right now. First losing Dad and then maybe me. It hurts me that youÕre going through these things. YouÕve been through things that no normal teenaged young man should go through. I sit here everyday wishing I could help you and be with you more than I am physically able. But I want you to know; with all my heart that you have a God that is bigger than me, and that can do all things. You have a God that loves you more than I can possibly ever love you. What other hope do we have?

 

11 Teach me your way, O Lord; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors.

12 Do not turn me over to the will of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me, breathing out violence.

 

O God! You know DavidÕs heart in ways that I cannot. I pray that You would be the father that he lacks. Teach him how to be a caring older brother, teach him how to take care of his family, teach him how to take responsibility. Be present with him in his studies, cheer him on at his swim meets, give him consolation after his first break-up, bring relief to the fears of adulthood. You are the only one that can teach him right and wrong—I pray against worldly influences of drugs, alcohol, violence, and apathy.

 

13 Had I not believed that I would enjoy to see the goodness of God in the land of the livingÉ

 

Mom, last night, I had a dream about you. In that dream, Dad was still living, and I had just discovered that you were dead. I remember when I found out, I knew I couldnÕt live any longer. I fell to the floor in your bedroom and Dad tried to console me saying, ÒItÕs okay,Ó but I knew he was crying too. Our family was breaking apart. I woke up sobbing and with no will to live. Mom, the only thing thatÕs keeping me going now is the hope that the doctorÕs will be able to save you.

 

14 Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

 

David, I know that whatever the results tell us tomorrow, God will be watching over our family. IÕm scared, too, but letÕs be strong. LetÕs wait for the Lord.